Potpourri

That's what this blog is. A little bit of this and a little bit of that. I like to write about my kids, my experience as a parent, my "projects" around the house, my faith in God, and any others experiences that I think would be helpful to others. From time to time, I may tell you about a product that I like, should you be looking for such a product. I am not telling you to use it, but its up to you to decide.

I don't think I've blogged about this but some of you may know that I have been going through a parenting class. Now back in the day, I thought people who take parenting classes are people who have done something abusive or neglectful to their children and they need to learn a new way to parent. Remember, I worked at DCS for 6 1/2 years, so that's my line of work. I was the kind of parent who would read a book on ANY topic of parenting. If my child was having a need, rest assured there was one or more books on my bookshelf related to such need. I even took an 18 week intensive course on parenting that was written by one of my favorite authors in the subject of parenting. However, just because you may have lots of knowledge, doesn't mean you know how to use it.

Jacob from the age of 2 had a speech delay that was later diagnosed as a language delay. (there is a difference, I now know) This caused him to have behavioral issues that none of the books I picked up could help me with. When he was around the age of 3-4, I knew his needs were greater than the skills that I had learned so I sought out some help from the Regional Intervention Program (RIP). Here's my plug for this program. It was originally created for autistic children, however, it was quickly recognized as a program for any parent who had a child with any level of behavioral issues. With that being said and having been through the program, I believe that this program should be a requirement for anyone with children. After all, if we are required to take a test to have a driver's license, there should be some requirement to be able to parent.

It is successful because it not only teaches someone parenting skills, it requires them to practice those skills in an environment where you have professionals to assist you. I am definitely a hands on learner and I think this was the key aspect for me. Its a free program and the way it is offered at no cost is because you "pay back" the sessions by teaching the classroom. You then model for other parents what you have learned, which is such a good way to solidify those skills. It is a huge commitment time-wise, however, that gave me time to work out kinks in my practices. One of the biggest challenges for me was to throw out all the parenting theories I had and be ready to do it a different way. I will be honest here and say that there were techniques that I thought to myself "that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. There's no way this would work." Only to be eating my words a week later when not only did it work, but they darn near worked at the first implementation.

The first thing we addressed at RIP was Jacob talking back. The intervention used was to give him this rule "Jacob, your job is to use your nice words." I know, too simple right? I'm sure my eye-rolling was received well by my case manager. This would have to be repeated to him at least 5 times a day. We often tell kids what not to do, but rarely do we tell them how we WANT them to act. This is the basic principal of RIP. Tell the kids what you want their behavior to be. So instead of telling him not to be disrespectful, or not to talk back, I would literally tell him at breakfast, before being dropped off to school, when I picked him up, and certainly before we went to some one's house to use his nice words. The program is data driven for statistical purposes (so you can prove something worked or didn't). He went from talking back 9 times a day to 1 or 2 times a day from the first day we implemented the intervention. How's that for statistics! I was shocked. At that point, I was like, ok, maybe these people CAN teach me something!

The reason I'm writing about this today is because today is our last day of the program. I'm not sure if we will welcome the break, or miss it, but I do know that it was a life changer. I know that I went from a mom who yelled, to a mom that (almost) doesn't anymore. And THAT I'm sure my children will be glad for, if for nothing else. I have another example of a successful intervention, but I'm waiting for it to be a little bit more successful and then I'll share. It has to do with possibly the most dreaded area of parenting.....bedtime battles. Dun Dun Dun.....

Stay tuned- yard sale find

I'm so excited about a yard sale find. I will post pics when we get this thing installed. But before I get into what it is, I think I am going to start a series on my yard sale finds. I'm often asked how I am able to stay home with my kids. Let me just say that one of the big contributors to making this a possibility is my ability to buy a lot of what we need/want at yard sales.

I have always been a yard saler though even before my kids. I'm such a tightwad with money that I never really understood paying more money for something that I can get at a yard sale for 1/4 of the price. All of our lawn equipment has come from yard sales, MUCH of my home decor, and nearly all my kids clothes are from yard sales. And here's the thing, my kids wear Gap, gymboree, old navy, children's place. Most I only pay $1 or less for. I just recently scored a whole bunch of gymboree outfits for Maggie for .50 each. Hello- those outfits probably cost $35 a piece.

The secret, one of them, to finding a good deal, is to go every. single. weekend. Every Saturday I'm up and out at 7am. I have a mental list, and sometimes a physical list of what I'm looking for. I don't feel like I have to come home with something either. If I don't see what I'm looking for, I keep on moving. Here's an example of a list. One day I dropped the pitcher to my Mr IceTea maker. Can I just tell you that I don't know how to make tea any other way? I went to Walmart to find a replacement and my Mr Ice Tea maker was old so they didn't even have replacement parts. I would have had to buy a new one for $18. Nonsense. I got up that Saturday and told Rick that I would come home with a Mr Ice Tea maker pitcher. That's pretty specific don't you think? I'll be darn if I didn't find not one, but 2 that day. A lady had 2 pitchers and her maker broke so she was selling the pitchers. SCORE! I think I paid $1 for both.

So, back to what I'm excited about. Since I'm a stay at home mom we're broke most of the time. But you know what, one day I'll be working full time and we'll have more money to do whatever, but right now, I get to be with my kids while they are home and NO amount of money is worth it. But that doesn't change the fact that I hate the fluorescent light in my kitchen. I hate florescent light period. End of story. First of all, it shows dirt in my already white kitchen like crazy. Light fixtures are like at least $100. Yard sales are a great place to find them. If its not the finish you prefer, get a can of spray paint and voila. I'm a big fan of Oil Rubbed Bronze. Rustoleum makes a really good spray paint. I have done a lot of the brass fixtures in our house with the ORB. I found a light fixture this weekend for $5 and its really nice. Don't know how it will look in the kitchen but if it doesn't look good there I will put it above the fireplace. We're putting it up tonight so I'll post before and after pictures tomorrow.

Heavy Heart

I try to share any experiences I may have with anyone if it will help others. I have one of those little, well, big life's lessons today. I am so sad. The sweetest neighbors ever are moving away today. We have lived 2 doors down from them for 2 years. They have 3 boys right around the same ages as Jacob and Maggie. Our kids love them and theirs love ours. We get along so well with the whole family, something that is kinda rare. We have the same values and even similar life experiences.

Around Christmas time we found out that they were moving. We tried not to think about it but as the thier time was drawing near, we started spending more time together, especially the last week. We spent their last night in town by eating Mexican, having some tasty margaritas, then followed by a big sleep over. It is so sad that Jacob doesn't really realize that when he hugged them goodbye today, it would be the last, for a while. It will kill me when he asks to play with them in a few days. I truely hope that we have neighbors like them again one day, but I seriously doubt there could ever be better ones than that...

Please learn a lesson from us and not take for granted the friendships that God blesses you with. We totally didn't appreciate this family like we should until we knew they were moving. Rick and I actually prayed that the Lord would bless us with a family just like theirs, yet we didn't recognize it. Maybe we recognized it but like many gifts the Lord blesses us with, we just don't appreciate them until its too late.

As they left today, I snapped a picture of the kids. I realized that is the only picture of probably Jacob's first best friend. I have memories of my first best friend from before kindergarten. {insert memory} "Hello little girl, those rocks in your parents landscape look like they need to be removed. They do? Well here let me give you a hand."

Please learn from my mistake and appreciate any of those friendships in your life that you think will always be there so you don't maintain them like you should. You never know when they will be taken away. We're lucky in our case that they are just a 6 hour drive away. One that I know we will take one day.

Warning

I am warning you that I can see many posts in the future are going to be about how much money I have saved (not on car insurance) but in the society of women who coupon! My awesome friend Angela transferred her knowledge of getting a weeks worth of groceries for a family of 4 for under $75 onto me. I have heard people on tv trying to give tips but I guess since I didn't know them I didn't trust them. I think I thought they secretly worked for the grocery stores and it was all a scam. That's how my brain works. I guess its from working at DCS for too many years but I think you are all up to no good!

I would rather scrub YOUR bathroom then make a grocery list and go shopping, but I can almost see that grocery shopping will result in a buzz from saving so much money. I KNOW I'm gonna kick myself in the pants for wasting so much time not doing this. Its almost silly now to shop without coupons. I always thought it wasn't worth the effort but I see the light now!

Thanks Angela!

I'll share you mine if you share me yours

I was watching Beth Moore and her husband on James Robison's show this morning. They were talking about a common misconception about marriages. Beth said that she and her husband fight a lot, she called it heated discussions, whatever you want to call it. Even as seasoned as they are as Christians, Betty and James Robison said they still have fights. Beth said beware of couples who act like or even brag that they don't fight. She said, now there's a marriage with no communication, no passion, just 2 people co-existing. She said she refuses to become that couple so she and her husband "risk" that by having heated arguments. By now, they've established rules for their arguments that make it conducive to get some resolve to their argument.

So don't feel bad if you and your spouse argue. It doesn't mean that you aren't a perfect couple. I've got news for you, you aren't the perfect couple. GET OVER IT!! None of us are! Being able to have heated discussions is a by-product of not settling for a blah marriage. I think the more constructive thing to do is to come up with ground rules before heading into said discussion.

For example, James Robison said that if your spouse says something that hurts you, we know that a loving spouse would never intentionally hurt the other. So assume that you misunderstood what they said and ask them to clarify their point another way so you can understand it without getting hurt.

So do us all a favor and share (don't hide) any revelations or experiences that another married couple would benefit from. I wonder what other ground rules would help keep an argument from going south?

Milestone coming up

Jacob is known for saying random things. So I tend to tune him out sometimes, although I'm making a conscious effort not to do this. The other night I was was laying down with him and he told me his tooth was loose. (he says this a lot if he's around another child who has a loose tooth) so I started to disregard him but thought I would do some investigating first. And sure enough, wouldn't you know it one of his front top teeth is loose. Not really loose, but you can tell it is getting loose. I know this day would come. And to tell you the truth, I'm quite upset that after all those nights staying up with him when he would be cranky from teething, are you serious, now its falling out? It is a rite of passage. One that makes me realize how fast he is growing up. It scares me sometimes because little moments like this catch me off guard and that's when I have time to think about bringing him home from the hospital.

The good thing is that it makes me really appreciate Maggie and where she's at developmentally because its a reminder to hold on to times that maybe I let slip through my hands with Jacob.

scratch those new year's resolutions

I saw this post on thenester.com. I don't care what my new year's resolution was. The topic of this video is my life's resolution. I somehow had this, how do you say, quality of living when I was a college kid, and even post college. Life was all about the little things, toilet papering friends houses, going camping, floating on a tube down a river, taking a walk on the greenway, picnics, just exploring what life had to offer. Somewhere in the middle of having kids, and its totally understandable, I lost that.

Its funny because today Rick and I set a timer for one hour to clean the house and then we would devote the rest of the day to playing with the kids. On Saturdays our day often becomes about the "projects" that we have around the house. Then Maggie and Jacob are left to find something to get into all day, asking for us to play with them but we're usually too busy to stop whatever we're doing. Today would be different but it wasn't the kind of different I was looking for. When we were done cleaning we played for a little bit, then it was lunch, then I looked around and the house was getting messy again. I saw this video and showed it to Rick. We both felt it. IT was a desire to reach out and touch something that the One who made me, made for me. and for you. and your kids, and my kids. We have gotten caught in that stinkin rat race of buying our kids things they don't need when all they needed today was their mom and dad, a football, and two neighborhood kids. Did I mention it was 45 degrees outside? Didn't stop us. The first thing they did was go down to a creek and look at the different shapes that the water had frozen in. Then they picked out sticks and ran along the rocks. They played an hour long football game and they were totally covered in mud. And for the first time in my life I didn't care. I just took in that moment. Threw the football, stole kisses from my love while the kids were tackling each other. It was awesome. Actually, awesome wasn't even in the word. I'll get back to you when I think of one. Yeah, life will be going back to the way it was. Starting now.