Potpourri

That's what this blog is. A little bit of this and a little bit of that. I like to write about my kids, my experience as a parent, my "projects" around the house, my faith in God, and any others experiences that I think would be helpful to others. From time to time, I may tell you about a product that I like, should you be looking for such a product. I am not telling you to use it, but its up to you to decide.

I don't think I've blogged about this but some of you may know that I have been going through a parenting class. Now back in the day, I thought people who take parenting classes are people who have done something abusive or neglectful to their children and they need to learn a new way to parent. Remember, I worked at DCS for 6 1/2 years, so that's my line of work. I was the kind of parent who would read a book on ANY topic of parenting. If my child was having a need, rest assured there was one or more books on my bookshelf related to such need. I even took an 18 week intensive course on parenting that was written by one of my favorite authors in the subject of parenting. However, just because you may have lots of knowledge, doesn't mean you know how to use it.

Jacob from the age of 2 had a speech delay that was later diagnosed as a language delay. (there is a difference, I now know) This caused him to have behavioral issues that none of the books I picked up could help me with. When he was around the age of 3-4, I knew his needs were greater than the skills that I had learned so I sought out some help from the Regional Intervention Program (RIP). Here's my plug for this program. It was originally created for autistic children, however, it was quickly recognized as a program for any parent who had a child with any level of behavioral issues. With that being said and having been through the program, I believe that this program should be a requirement for anyone with children. After all, if we are required to take a test to have a driver's license, there should be some requirement to be able to parent.

It is successful because it not only teaches someone parenting skills, it requires them to practice those skills in an environment where you have professionals to assist you. I am definitely a hands on learner and I think this was the key aspect for me. Its a free program and the way it is offered at no cost is because you "pay back" the sessions by teaching the classroom. You then model for other parents what you have learned, which is such a good way to solidify those skills. It is a huge commitment time-wise, however, that gave me time to work out kinks in my practices. One of the biggest challenges for me was to throw out all the parenting theories I had and be ready to do it a different way. I will be honest here and say that there were techniques that I thought to myself "that's the dumbest thing I've ever heard. There's no way this would work." Only to be eating my words a week later when not only did it work, but they darn near worked at the first implementation.

The first thing we addressed at RIP was Jacob talking back. The intervention used was to give him this rule "Jacob, your job is to use your nice words." I know, too simple right? I'm sure my eye-rolling was received well by my case manager. This would have to be repeated to him at least 5 times a day. We often tell kids what not to do, but rarely do we tell them how we WANT them to act. This is the basic principal of RIP. Tell the kids what you want their behavior to be. So instead of telling him not to be disrespectful, or not to talk back, I would literally tell him at breakfast, before being dropped off to school, when I picked him up, and certainly before we went to some one's house to use his nice words. The program is data driven for statistical purposes (so you can prove something worked or didn't). He went from talking back 9 times a day to 1 or 2 times a day from the first day we implemented the intervention. How's that for statistics! I was shocked. At that point, I was like, ok, maybe these people CAN teach me something!

The reason I'm writing about this today is because today is our last day of the program. I'm not sure if we will welcome the break, or miss it, but I do know that it was a life changer. I know that I went from a mom who yelled, to a mom that (almost) doesn't anymore. And THAT I'm sure my children will be glad for, if for nothing else. I have another example of a successful intervention, but I'm waiting for it to be a little bit more successful and then I'll share. It has to do with possibly the most dreaded area of parenting.....bedtime battles. Dun Dun Dun.....