Operation Project Completion

I admit it. I am a blogaholic. Oh no, not that I blog all the time, just that I read others' blogs all the time. I get some really good ideas from them and one thing I've noticed on some of the blogs is how they document some projects that they have going. I love projects. I love planning projects, researching the best way to do the project, looking at others demonstrations of how they did their project. Now, when it comes to DOING the project, eh, not so much. Or even worse, I start the project and, I'm sure you've never done this before, but lose my motivation or steam in the middle and then I have an unfinished project for almost a year, like the stairway to the bonus room. UGH.

I currently have a (few) projects going on. I am in the middle of stripping wallpaper in the kids' bathroom. Well, I have the wallpaper off, but now I need to do the unfun getting the glue part off. YUK. Then we've decided to do beadboard on the bottom and I'm going to go with a shade of a light limeish green. I want their bathroom to be fun.

Here are other projects that need to get underway, or completed:
Stairway needs to be painted
Hallway needs to be painted
Need to get pictures printed for frames
Need to order uppercase living for our bedroom
Jacob's room is about to be changed from hunting/moose lodge to football

Ok, that's overwhelming me now. No more than that. My reason for blogging about this is maybe this will help motivate me to start and more importantly complete these projects.

So, the next time you see me, ask me how my projects are going!

Memories of the way we were

I got out some home videos today of when Maggie was born through 6 months. I have a few observations that stemmed from watching these videos.
1) I need to purchase a device that stops time. I can’t believe that was 3 years ago. I also would like this machine to make it possible to go back in time so I can cuddle and kiss a 3 month old Maggie and 2 yr old Jacob. They were so precious then. Not that they aren’t now, they just are capable of smarting off now and they weren’t then.
2) I don’t think I gave/give myself more credit for the job I have done with them. I am constantly feeling guilty trying to balance time spent with them during the day, but also getting house stuff done that seems to be never ending. From the videos, I was doing a good job. A really good job. I don’t know why I beat myself up like I do. I’m constantly telling myself I should do more with them. I think I do more than I allow myself to believe. I believe my mom told me this is called “Mother Guilt. “
3) I could have 5 more babies. Oh my gracious, I LOVE babies. Whether or not I have anymore, I’m perfectly content with my two now, but Lord have mercy, I so miss having a baby. Hands down my favorite part of motherhood is taking care of those precious angels when they need you so much. I love the smell of them, their sounds, their itty bitty hands and feet. MMMMM.
4) I love my husband. I think he’s a better dad then I give him credit for. I think one of the qualities I liked in him when we were dating was that he could be like a kid and that has paid off as he was singing all the Wiggles songs while playing play doh with Jacob. I somehow managed to catch quite a few really sentimental moments on video and I love that he holds those moments as closely to his heart as I do. I need to do a better job seeing those things and not looking for the times he’s not playing with them.
The 5th and final thing I observed is that oh my goodness I need to relax more. Someone give that lady a chill pill. I think this goes back into that “mother guilt” thing my mom once told me about. How when a woman becomes a mother, something changes in her DNA that she can’t help. She will always worry did her child eat enough that day, did they eat too much, did they have a bowel movement, are they happy, am I disciplining them adequately, are they going to grow up to be productive citizens and make this world a better place, Will they ever know how much they are loved, Will I ever stop worrying about them when they are not in my presence, what would I do to someone if I thought they might harm my child. So on second thought, there probably isn’t a chill pill for moms. Because I believe that is one of the mysteries that God made in mothers. He knew that we would stand up to a grizzly bear if it meant protecting our child. Sure we may come out of that battle with some wounds, but it would be worth it. So I guess in a way, that low level of anxiety that is always present is our battle wound for becoming a mom. One that I wear proudly.

Summer is coming to an end

Well, my last post revealed all the things I hoped to accomplish this summer. Most of those plans were thwarted by a bum gall bladder that had to be removed right around the beginning of June. Our vacation was also, coincidentally, scheduled for that same time. We were supposed to go to Baltimore to see my cousin get married but I wasn't feeling good following the surgery. I knew something was up b/c I'm usually very quick to recover from things. I was up and about after 2 c sections once we came home from the hospital. This was different though.

I hated that Rick was scheduled off and since we weren't going on vacation he would ultimately go back to work if we weren't going on vacation. And I just didn't have the heart to let him go back, so I thought I was well enough to go to the beach for a few days. We headed down to Destin, extremely spur of the moment. Woke up Monday and said, hey I feel good today. Wanna go to the beach? 10 hours later we were pulling up to our condo. The first couple of days went ok and we had a great time. The kids loved the beach even more than last year. They both made friends and at one point, Rick and I were sitting there alone on the beach while they were both off playing with their new friends. This was quite a contrast from last year when the kids were hanging on us for dear life.

By Wednesday night, I started feeling bad. Thursday morning I was not moving around like I was the previous days and was having pain at the incision cite. When I woke up Friday morning it was clear that I had strep throat. When I tried to drink anything if felt like crushed up razor blades going down my throat. I didn’t eat or drink much of anything for a few days. I was throwing up, fever, chills, and my incision (which had gone from uncomfortable to extremely painful) was now draining an unidentifiable liquid. I knew something was attacking my body. We were paid up until Saturday so I just thought, if I can just make it one more day. I was so dehydrated on Saturday that I forced myself to drink 3 bottles of water on the way back and I never went to the bathroom. I’m not a nurse or doctor, by my guess is my body was taking in every single ounce of water I gave it. On Sunday when I woke up, the liquid that was oozing from my incision was now a yellow greenish color. Again, I’m not a doctor, but that can’t be good. I called the on call Dr, which happened to by my surgeon and he told me to head straight to the ER. They did all kinds of tests to find out that I had strep throat, and a staph and strep infection in my incision. They were also testing me for MRSA, but that was negative. I had to be admitted to the hospital so they could get the infection to stop spreading. I had a rash on my stomach that had spread in the 2 hours I was at the ER.

I tell you, I’m not saying that I want to go back to the hospital any time soon, but it was nice to be able to just heal with no one to take care of. Instead people were there to take care of me?? Wow, that was nice. In a really weird way, it was nicer than going to the beach. I got to watch what I wanted, napped when I wanted, they brought me food. Uh, yeah, this is the kind of vacation moms need every once in a while. But do we really need a staph infection to get it?

I thought it I would recover by the next day since I had IV fluids and antibiotics, but no such luck. I didn’t feel remotely better until Tuesday evening. By Wednesday I was feeling more like my normal self and talked to the dr into letting me go home that night. It was nice to be back in my own room and to be around my babies. All this to say, I couldn’t get into any water until the incision closed, which turned out to be mid July. This means I missed out on a month’s worth of swimming. I was bummed about that. That’s all I can blog for today. I will post the rest of the summer’s activities another day.

School, summer plans, and tears, lots of tears

I haven't blogged since January, and I just feel terrible about that. Let's just say life here has been, well, busy. I've wanted to add posts but I was so frustrated how behind I was and that's why I continued to not blog. How stupid is that? So I'm attempting to rectify the situation.

So yesterday was the last day of Maggie's preschool and I have to say it was more emotional than I thought it would be. Like ridiculously emotional. My eyes were probably puffy yesterday from crying. She just loves Trinity. She talks about her friends and teachers all week, as I know its the highlight of her week. They must be doing something right there.

Its also the last week of Jacob's preschool and then he'll be going to kindergarten in August. Can we just stop for a minute a think about that. I brought him home from the hospital 4 1/2 yrs ago. How is it possible to be sending him to school so quickly? Who's idea was it anyway to send children to school at only 5 years old? I think the Germans invented kindergarten. They also invented the Holocaust so somebody tell me again why we do this? I KNOW I'm not the only parent who has thought, there's no way my child is ready for this. And folks, for the record, I know they have to go to school, and the benefits, yada yada yada. I am just telling my feelings about how hard it is to know that the days where I take both my kids to the park for lunch, they are almost over. How did that happen? I never even took Jacob to the Wilderness Station for the bug club thing that I said I would. We did spend lots of time at the Discovery Center though. I guess no matter what you did and did not do, you always feel like you could have done more. I so appreciate the almost 3 years I have been home with Jacob.

I know Jacob will love school. He loves structured learning settings and oddly enough he would rather do homework than play games. This kid gets this from neither his mother, nor his father, I can assure you of this!

I guess I will appreciate my days with my children this summer like I've never done before. I will cling to every memory we make this summer. Upcoming events this summer: a family vacation to Baltimore to see my cousin get married, take the kids to their first major league baseball game, a trip to the beach, and hopefully getting to meet lots of family who don't know Rick or the kids. We are also anticipating a visit from Uncle Bob, Aunt Mimi, cousins Mabry and McClain. Backyard camp outs, swimming every day, running through the sprinklers, evening golf cart rides, and lots and lots of popsicables.

Poor Winter

I feel bad for winter. If you have logged on to facebook in the past week, you will see that apparently, no one likes cold weather. Except my husband, he's weird. I can't get the man to put his shorts away in even 20 degree weather. He finds it invigorating.

I do always look forward to spring, and the blooms and warm weather it brings, but to make Winter not feel so bad, here are the things I love about winter.

1) I love the candle scents that we light in the winter, like bonfire, ginger vanilla, mulled cider, gingerbread.
2) I do love snow and how it makes everything, even ugly stuff, look so beautiful. It also makes things quiet in Tennessee, b/c us Tennesseans are afraid of the stuff apparently.
3) I love how the cold weather makes us be more home bodies. I tend to busy myself too much and need something like 15 degrees to give me a reason to just stay in and come up with fun stuff to do. The kids played with play doh for almost a whole hour today.
4)I love when the fire place is going, although I think we need to get a carbon monoxide detector. Every time we have the fireplace on, I get really sleepy and want to curl up in front of the fireplace like a dog.
5) I love to see berries on trees
6) I love to see cardinals coming around so much.
7) Slipper socks. Need I say more?
8) Winter clothes seem to be in fashion a lot longer than those trendy summer and spring clothes.
9) Its also easier to cover up “stuff” in winter clothes.
10)lots and lots of cuddling

The older I get, the wiser I become

Its 11:30 on Christmas Eve. I really need to be wrapping presents. Really! But I can't go to bed tonight without getting these thoughts out. I have the opportunity to worship at a church that is so powerful it would make anyone fall to their knees. We've been there one week shy of 7 years. That's awesome to me because I know that means 7 years of spiritual growth like I've never experienced before. A couple of years ago the church knew we were outgrowing our current space so we were going to have to expand. (by the way, WOC is in the top 10% in the country of fastest growing churches) We all made financial commitments for the building of the new church so it has been something we have looked forward to. Tonight, our church had its first official service (for the exception of a baptism service which I was baptized at). How wonderful to be able to have Christmas Eve service in the new sanctuary.

On this day, I was exhausted. Stayed up late last night, been baking, cooking, shopping, cleaning, everything I was trying to avoid this late in the game. I told Rick at dinner that if it were not for having the service in the new sanctuary, it would have been very easy for me to be talked into skipping. So we go. This was the 3rd and last service for the night. I seriously thought not many would be there. I can't say it was packed, but not that many empty seats in the whole house.

The service opened up with the choir, an orchestra, these 3 drummers with these big drums where it took every muscle in their body to beat, our praise and worship team, and this awesome poem in the background. I found it on our church's website and you simply must go there now and read it. http://www.wochurch.org/PDF/WOC%20Christmas%20Poem.pdf

At this point, I was wide awake, full of tears, and realizing that this was so worth dragging my worn out self. Ten minutes into the service, I wondered why they didn't charge admission, it was that good. Please keep in mind at this point, we are so spoiled by the celebration arts team that we come to expect an awesome performance. Seriously people, they could have charged money to attend tonight. At one point in the praise and worship part, I felt sorry for Pastor Allen b/c I was thinking there's no way the sermon can be as good as this. Again, this man who is anointed by the Holy Spirit had an awesome message about how God knows how to bring his children home, whether it be to eternity, or like the prodigal son, just back to God.

On the way home, it hit me why I like Christmas Eve so much. Because by 8:30, the grocery store was closed, fast food restaurants, walgreens, even gas stations were closing. Its the only time of the year where everyone is forced to stop what they are doing and be at home with their family, unplugged from the world, getting still. I wish that our society encouraged that more like other countries do. In Spain, if you want ANYTHING during the hours of siesta, you have to wait until stores are back open. The whole country closes up just about. And then they really only reopen for a few hours. Its very typical for businesses to close at 4:00 for the day. They live in less fancier houses than we do and their cars are less fancy, but their quality of life and family time are much greater. I totally respect that and I learned a valuable lesson from that.

The older I get, the more I realize that Christmas really isn't about the gifts, and Santa, and the cookies, and the songs, and the decorations. Its about a girl who was such a humble servant of God that she said yes to something that was, well crazy to her. But she said yes anyway. Its about a God that wanted to be more intimately connected to His children, so he put himself in the flesh, in the form of a human being so he could experience what we experience. Who does that? God does. Its about a man, who modeled for us how we are to treat each other, who took the punishment for all the world, so that our sins would be forgiven. Its almost too much for me to wrap my brain around. But I'll spend the rest of my days here on this earth trying, learning what God wants me to do and to be willing to say yes.

myspace blogs

Since I don't check my myspace account, like ever, I figured I should send all my blogs from there over to here in case my account gets deleted or something. Here are old posts:

Wednesday, July 16, 2008
There will be videos
In today's world where the gas prices are up and the stock market is down, banks are going under, there's not too many things in life anymore that are free. I have been able to find something that's pretty close to it and I'm so excited to share this with you. Its called Movie Cube. Its just like Red Box at McDonald's except that its in Kroger's which is even better since its across the street from my house. Ever since I have found this wonderful invention I am practically addicted to it. It represents something more than just a movie for me. It is making a decision to spend time with Rick, away from the kids. Since I stay home and Rick works from home, we see each other all the time, but that doesn't mean we spend quality time together as a couple. In that respect, its just like two people who work out of the home who have to make that time.

The movies are just $1 so even if we don't think the movie is great, we don't have a lot to lose. It all started with Fool's Gold starring my sweetie pie Matthew McConaughey. That was pretty much just a reason to look at him for 94 minutes. Cute movie though. To show apprecitation to Rick for watching a chick flick, I rented American Gangster the next night, which I believe totally got shorted for Oscar nminations. This may be the best movie I have seen in a long time. Although its not a feel good kind of movie, Denzel Russell were awesome! Then came Charlie Wilson's War, an outstanding performance by Tom Hanks. Which brings me to the next movie, There Will Be Blood. Daniel Day Lewis won the Oscar for best actor for this one. I think it was soley because he had to memorize so many lines. He was the only one talking the whole movie and what kind of accent was that? Irish, English? Who knows. Rick and I are still wondering why in the heck it was called There Will Be Blood. There wasn't even a whole lot of blood in the movie. It could have been a good movie if they told it in an hour. The rest was just a waste of our time. Either way, good movie or bad movie, and even though I may fall asleep in Rick's lap during almost every movie, its still our time together that counts. There may not be blood, but there will be more videos.


Tuesday, December 25, 2007
I’ll shoot the whole family
For my brother's Christmas present, his father in law is taking him on a duck hunt on Christmas afternoon. My 4 year old neice Mabry was being told that her daddy would be leaving the family on Christmas to go hunt ducks. She said that she wanted to go with daddy. When explaining to Mabry that daddy would be killing a duck, she said "I wanna shoot a duck too Daddy." My sister in law Mitzi was quite surprised that Mabry would be interested in shooting a duck. She said "but Mabry, what if that duck's family misses him?" Mabry replied, "then I'll shoot the whole family."



Wednesday, December 12, 2007
My dream
Current mood: blissful
My dream has come true. I gave my notice at work yesterday so that I can become a stay at home mom. I can't describe the joy I feel knowing that caring for my kids and husband has become my full time job. I know it is a little 1950's ish, but that's what I feel like at this point in my life I was meant to do. The last 3 months have been bliss and I just would have hated to see that go.

On the other hand, I'm leaving not just a job, but what I have found to be my calling in life, other than being a mom. I worked with great people whom I will miss dearly. I know that I will remain in contact with them, as the work that we do bonds us extremely. I've been with DCS over 6 years. Its crazy to imagine myself not there, but I'm also very grateful to be able to share my days with my kids now. Not to mention, its just freaking fun to color, go to the park, the discovery center, and play horsey.

So for all my co-workers out there, I love you guys and carry on with the great work you all do. Its an important job and one that takes very special people. I know I will rejoin you all one day.

To my husband, I thank him for making the sacrifice that it requires for me to stay home. I've always taken responsibility for making my dreams come true, but first he gave me the two beautiful angels, and now the ability to spend my days taking care of them. There are simply no words to express my gratitude for that, so I will spend the rest of my life showing him my gratitude.


Saturday, May 05, 2007
Its a ......
Well, don't know for sure. The umbilical cord was going between the baby's legs. But, the ultrasound technician said that she did not see boy parts. We have another ultrasound on May 25 so hopefully we'll find out then. I'm almost 100% sure its a girl, because she is going to be a cheerleader if she keeps the toe touches and jumping jacks up! If it is a girl her name will be Maggie. If you have any ideas for a middle name, let me know.