I knew after graduating from MTSU that I would be back in school one day. I just didn't know for what. During my time at DCS I realized that social work is what I am called to do. MTSU will start their first semester of a masters in social work program this fall. Ever since I found out that the program was being offered at MTSU that I wanted to go there. I just love MTSU and have so much pride for that school, as well as many fond memories. To be able to go back there for a graduate degree is thrilling and an honor.
All this to say, I have been putting off applying forever. I knew it would be a lengthy process and Maggie and Jacob do not like when I am on the computer so I usually am only on here in the morning, during nap time, or when they are in bed. I know, I can't constantly blame my kids for everything I don't get done. I will mostly blame my procrastination.
I woke up yesterday (june 1) with an urging sense to start the application process. I woke up early, as did Jacob. I had to get him settled upstairs with breakfast and some PBS kids. Thank you super why! I got online to submit my application and I noticed the deadline for submitting applications was June 1. HOLY COW! Nothing like waiting until the last minute, huh?
I started thinking of everything that I was going to have to do in lightening speed time to get my application in and I got so overwhelmed. I haven't even taken the GRE. I thought to myself, when am I going to have the time to study for the stupid thing. Then I thought, if you can't study for that, how are you going to study for your classes? What was I thinking? Why didn't I do this before I had kids??? These thoughts turned into, do I even want to be a social worker. I had so much self doubt that took over.
Then I talked to a few friends, one who told me that she didn't even study for the GRE. I looked at some sample questions like she suggested and I got all of them right and I wasn't even reading the questions. I will be sure to do that the day of the real test. Or maybe that will confuse me.....I also had to submit some essays as to why I am pursuing a career in social work and my background. The other one was about a social problem and I had to explain the complications to addressing the problem. When I was an undergrad, I tried so hard just to get by. For example, if I was writing a paper that had to be 5 pages, I didn't care if I was mid sentence, when I got to 5 pages I just put a period at the end of the sentence and I was done. As I was writing one of my essays I found myself going on and on about the transition for prisoners who are released into the free world. I had to condense my some of my thoughts because I was going to go over. Being a stay at home mom and dealing with a one and three year old day in day out, I imagine that when my mind thought the word recidivism there must have been dust flying all around my brain as it recalled the word and its meaning. It was as if a lamp was turned on inside me. I am doing something for myself and it feels so good. I love school. I love learning, especially about things I'm interested in. My attitude that started out so defeated quickly turned to excitement.
It will be a while before I know if I'm accepted into the program. So for now all I can do is pray and know that God brought me this far, I bet he can slide my name on the list. Because I waited so long my name will probably go on a waiting list and hope that someone who got accepted chose another school to go to. I really hope my trusty old orange back pack that Marcie got me gets to be dusted off and used again soon! If I take two classes a semester, I will graduate as Maggie goes into kindergarten. Perfect timing! There is so many things I will be able to do with this degree. I can work in a hospital, drug treatment facility, do counseling, go back into foster care, so many things. My future is so bright, I've got to wear shades.
